After years of slowly losing my mojo and sexual confidence, I am slowly rediscovering my drives and desires and now want to find someone to explore that with. I am looking for a semi-regular hookup with someone I can get to know over time and explore my sexuality, but I am not ready to actually meet someone for the longer term.
How on earth do I ask for this on an app like Tinder without getting scary messages? This is a great start! I have long believed that the secret to finding a lasting partnership is less about meeting the one but rather about meeting some one who you find attractive and interesting but who also — and this is crucial — wants the same kind of relationship that you do at the same time that you want it.
This can apply to casual relationships as much as serious ones: Being real friends-with-benefits requires the highest level of emotional honesty and communication in order to make the parameters of the relationship clear and avoid hurt feelings.
Your point that advertising this on your profile may elicit creepy messages is not an irrelevant one, but I do think for maximum efficiency you should be pretty clear that you are looking for something casual because of your existing commitments. And you do want someone who is very sex-positive. One option is to look for people with similar profiles to yours: Also, prioritize the girls you really want to see, who are also investing in you and actually trying to meet up.
Most advice will tell you not do it, but I disagree. I think people are afraid to express their feelings or love because they confuse it with attachment. You can also love multiple people at the same time without being committed.
Because once your friends feel a connection, they may be more likely to overshare about your personal life. Or just introduce one person to your friends and keep the rest private. If you have judgmental parents who push their morals on you, it might not be the smartest idea.
There are some women who are secure in more open relationships and can separate their feelings from societal expectations. If you care about a girl, you have to want her to enjoy herself, too. Either accept the terms of non-exclusive relationships or stop sleeping with women on a casual basis. If you sense this, you should bring it up. Pete is an advanced social skills coach and founder of Beard Strokings. He teaches his clients to be charismatic in genuine ways, in order to deeply connect with people through conversation.
If you want to learn how to connect with women on a powerful level, check out Conquer Confidence Consistently escalate your dates from friendly to flirty. Sign up below to get immediate access to the First Date Field Manual.
One of the biggest things you need to be wary of in a casual relationship is getting trapped in the relationship. Notify me of followup comments via e-mail.
Contact Forum Media About Home. Stop Missing Dating Opportunities. Click the button below for more info. Click Here To Learn More! It mostly comes down to being honest and upfront. So how can you be honest AND build your confidence? When you do, you minimize hurting feelings and dealing with any unhealthy fallout. Because the longer you wait, the more likely she is to feel hurt and misled..